2005-08-30 || 1:08 a.m.
.layer//UNCERTAINTY

I honestly don't get it. It seems like there's no drive for anything at all. I don't know what to do anymore because the decision is not mine to make.

It's your decision, yes, but why doesn't it seem like you even care about it? I mean, this is driving me crazy!

Life is so damn hard. I can't believe that for a second I thought that it would be simple at all. Once you have a problem and you've dealt with it there seems to be more problems coming your way.

I know that even though it feels hard this is what makes it worth living.

There is no right or wrong, there is only fate. If you're given the choices but you don't know the outcome then why bother choosing?

If everything is fated then why have all the choices?

I don't think there's any definition of what life is all about. Philosophy sucks. Philosopphy sucks balls it might even have a word for when I say it sucks.

Uncertainty sucks.

This is how the losers of life see things. Sometimes I feel like dying you know? Commit suicide or something. I don't, I'm still alive. Other people just die away.

I guess this is what it means to live. Even with all the sucky bits with all the hard decisions to make with all the sadness and hate. That's what it means to live.

I don't know.